Last updated on September 30th, 2021 at 10:19 am
As a parent of twins, being asked who is older is one of the top questions we hear. Why do they ask this? Maybe they are thrown off that there is not a “pecking order” of an older and younger sibling. Mainly I think it is just innocent curiosity and a way to have a conversation.
What about your twins? Will you tell them who is older, be it by one minute or one hour or more? On the rare chance that your twins are born on different days… well, the choice is already made for you. There is no right or wrong answer, it’s a personal preference.
Some chose to be completely open or tell their twins to give a “smaller” twin leverage if he/she is older. Other choose not to tell so that they don’t bicker about the subject or the dominate “older” twin doesn’t have more leverage. Also they may feel that others may treat them different if they knew who was older.
Here are a few parents who chose not to tell their twins who is older and why:
“I know my twins better than anyone. They are SUPER competitive! I do not add fuel to the fire by divulging that information.” – Allie
“My older one is the more dominate one. I don’t want him to have that knowledge against his brother to be more dominant.” – Lynn
“They ARE the same age. Telling them who came out first (while young) the older one will always tease the younger one. At least here in my house – Birgit
“People always ask me and/or my twin daughters. We don’t know & probably never will know who’s older as we adopted them from China & know nothing about their birth history or family of origin. This very innocent & natural question is a reminder of the piece of their lives that will always remain a mystery” – Diane
“I’m always surprised at how many people ask and then tell me what characteristics the older one will have. I don’t want people to make assumptions” – Lisa
Here are some people who chose to tell their twins who was older and why:
“It’s part of their birth story. So of course I told them.”- Abigail
“Yep, because they should know. It’s not a big deal. I know that my brother is older by 3 years, why shouldn’t the twins know who’s older?”- Amanda
“I wanted to buy matching newborn outfits that said “little sister” on one and “big sister” on the other. I was not so shocked to find that they don’t make “big sister” apparel in newborn size! One of the many unique items only a mom of multiples would look for.” – BrodieLynn
“We will tell our twins. It’s the fact of the matter! As for any teasing, we raise our children to be thick skinned but also to be kind and me compassionate so any bothersome teasing isn’t allowed.” – Gena
“My twins are almost three, I will tell them when they ask. I believe in honesty & treating them with respect. If they have a problem with it, I will address it & help them get past it. I would never keep the truth from them. Just my opinion.” – Krista
“Mine have always known. The oldest (1 minute) is about 10 lbs lighter and 3 inches shorter. Poor kid needed some kind of advantage over his little (huge) brother!” – Jennifer
“My 6 month old boys will surely know who was born first — after 5 1/2 hours of trying to push out Baby B and ending up in the c-section “double whammy” you know he’ll never be living that one down!” Julie
Some parents have regretted telling their twins. Here’s why:
“My 5 year old twins were 2 minutes apart. I thought nothing of sharing this with them until the younger twin burst into tears! He still refuses to believe it’s true. The older one of course thinks he is super cool. Who would have thought 2 minutes was such a big deal!” – Michelle
“I kinda regret telling twin A he was first to enter the world because now at age 8 he thinks he is superior” – Kelly
What about you? Did you or will you tell your twins who is older?
Tags: Twin both order, twins, multiple birth order, multiples, triplet birth order, triplets, Twiniversity, who was born first, family, birth order, birth story,
