Twin Mom Self Care: Traveling Without the Twins

Twin parenthood poses unique challenges. With two babies to love and raise, it can feel like you’re losing a part of yourself all too easily. But if you’re able to figure out how to make it happen, traveling solo without the twins is an amazing form of twin mom self care. Read on for one twin mom’s experience traveling to Iceland post-twins and advice for planning your own twin-free excursion!

There I stood, atop a roaring 300-foot waterfall, braving the freezing wind and rain, and over 3,000 miles away from my 3-year-old twins. I felt brave, free, and both large and small at the same time.

I had traveled to Iceland with my sister and a friend, leaving my husband to care for our twin girls for 8 long days alone.

Travel was once a big part of my life and identity, especially traveling abroad. Each place I visited changed me, and I, in turn, left pieces of my heart around the world. I fell in love with romantic France, rode trains through the Alps, made footprints in Peru, and quite literally ate my way through Taiwan. 

Everything changed when I became pregnant with twins though. We did some modest traveling with our twins to Canada, Boston, and California. But my adventures were mostly at home. Although my heart was full in a new way, I cannot deny that I felt my wings had been clipped.

There are plenty of social media moms out there who post about grand familial escapades traveling with their twins around the globe. They are somehow hiking, driving long distances, and sampling foreign foods all with babies and toddlers in tow. It is impressive, to say the least, but that is not my reality. 

If my twins miss their nap, they will spend the rest of the day whining and crying. They still wake up for one reason or another almost every single night. The short trips we have taken together with minimal time differences have been chaotic and overstimulating enough to cause them to be emotionally volatile the entire weekend. 

Lastly, when we travel, their listening skills go out the window. It’s as if they become little renegades of the Wild West. A lawless land of running away from Mom and Dad in the parking lot, taking toys from each other, and screaming until they get what they want. 

We are okay dealing with this on shorter trips, but don’t feel it would be enjoyable enough to justify the time and money spent on a trip abroad just yet.

We also don’t have family nearby or people who know the girls well enough to watch them for a week while we are a world away in another country traveling as a couple. That time will come I’m sure. But it is not now. Traveling to epic places with the twins will have to wait.

While lamenting about this dilemma one night, my husband suggested I take a trip alone. It would give me back something I missed so much in my life since we had twins  as well as allow me some time to reset and recharge.

I had only ever taken one trip away from our girls, and that was a year ago when I was away for two nights for a bachelorette party. It was hard being away from them even for that long, so I doubted my ability to leave for a longer trip that was much further away.

However, I felt like the benefits of not traveling with twin toddlers outweighed the fact that I would miss them for a short time. Plus, I trust my husband immensely and knew I had nothing to worry about. He took time off from work so that he could bring the girls to and from school, and with that, I planned the trip and packed my bags.

I chose Iceland because I craved a wild adventure. I wanted to hear a different language, explore a foreign, untamed landscape, and eat food I had never eaten before (hello puffin!). 

The rejuvenation I craved was an awakening of the senses and the feeling you get when standing in a place you have never been for the first time. I did miss my twins, but I was able to Facetime them often. And I bought them plenty of souvenirs that I could look forward to giving them when I got home. I also knew this was a trip that would not have been possible to do with our twins (at least not until they are much much older). 

The weather was erratic and windy, we spent a lot of time in the car, we went horseback riding and hiking, explored hot springs, saw an active volcano, and did a TON of walking. My twinnies simply would not have the stamina yet (though I cannot wait until the day they do). 

I was missing a piece of myself that I lost when I had twins, and I found it in Iceland. For one of the first times since becoming pregnant, I felt like my life did not revolve around work and twin motherhood. 

I felt like I was still a mom, but I am also so many other things. My husband is going to take a trip this year too while I watch the twins for him. It is the best gift we have ever given each other, and we decided to make it an annual thing for each of us. 

I cannot wait for the day when we can travel with twins abroad as a family, but until then, I will be looking forward to my annual solo trip.

How to plan for travel without the twins

As a parent of twins, you may find yourself in a similar situation. It’s difficult to make a choice about who to leave your twins with while you take a trip, especially if you are leaving the country. 

Because we do not have any family in town, I ultimately felt like leaving them with a family member, aside from my husband, was not the best choice. They just did not know the twins’ daily routine well enough. Our parents are all aging, and the siblings my husband and I have who may have been able to care for them are all out of town and work full time.

My husband was able to arrange his schedule for a week to do all pickups and drop-offs at school, and because we each take part in their daily routine, there was really no learning curve for him to be able to take over for a whole week alone.

When considering taking your own trip, think about who knows your twins best, and who is able to take over for you while making minimal adjustments to their own schedule. I did not want someone to have to take a week of PTO just so I could go on a vacation.

Where should you travel without the twins?

Think about what your priorities are when choosing a place to travel to. Is it most important to you to go somewhere close so that you spend a minimal amount of time traveling? 

Or do you want to go somewhere far away and exotic because it is most important for you to hear a different language or try food you have never tried before?

Do you want to lay on a beach at a resort to decompress or are you trying to go on the type of adventure you do not have at home? 

I tried to find the best of both worlds and marry my need for an adventure while spending the least amount of time traveling to my destination. 

I had recently been to both Canada and Mexico and wanted to go somewhere that I had never been before. If I had not gone to Iceland, I might have considered Central America, the Caribbean, or Ireland.

But of course, every parent’s situation is different. So choose a place that feels like a meaningful form of twin mom self care to you! If that means a less involved 2-day trip to somewhere that you can drive too, that works too.

Expect to miss the twins and plan ahead to make it easier

Iceland was a great choice for me since the flight was around 7 hours and did not cut into my vacationing time much. I took a red-eye there and for my return flight, because of the time difference, I arrived back in Colorado almost at the same time I had left Iceland. 

This was important for me because I did not want to be away from my twins for 14 days. I wanted to be away for 8 days at the most, including travel time. 

I suggest trying a much smaller, closer vacation before committing to traveling overseas. My trip to Mexico the year prior to Iceland was like a trial run for me. It gave me confidence that I could get away for a few days, but also showed me I would miss my twins terribly.

When I was ready to make the trip to Iceland, I pre-arranged times I knew I would be able to FaceTime. My husband sent me lots of photos every day, and we kept in touch about how the girls were doing.

I made a calendar before I left to show them when I was leaving and coming back which they looked at every day. I also bought them LOTS of souvenirs. Picking things out that reminded me of them kept me looking forward to the day I would come home and give them their gifts.

Make traveling without the twins an annual tradition

It is easy to lose ourselves in being moms to twins. If you can find a way to do something for just yourself regularly, the way you want to do it, you can preserve that very important part of yourself that exists outside of being a mom. Ironically, I do believe this form of twin mom self care makes me a better mom to my twins!

Most of my hobbies, including traveling abroad the way I like to, are just not conducive to doing with baby, toddler, or preschool-aged twins. 

By figuring out a way to take an annual trip alone (or with a friend or two), I have something to look forward to that is just for me. I return the favor for my husband who is going to the Philippines to visit a friend next year while I watch our twins at home. 

Someday I will feel comfortable enough to bring the girls on long flights and to explore foreign places together as a family. For now, I am looking forward to planning my next solo trip next year!

Want more inspo for twin mom self care or for traveling? Check these out too!

• Who Am I Again? Finding Yourself After Becoming a Mom
• 9 Tips for Self-Care Even When You Can’t Leave the House
• The Mom’s Ultimate Guide to Travel With Twins

Planning your own twin mom self care trip? Or completed one already? We’d love to hear about it! Tell us how your solo twin mom trip went by sharing it with us on Instagram or in an email to community@twiniversity.com.

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