Last updated on August 23rd, 2023 at 10:14 pm
It’s the worst heartbreak a toddler can imagine in their little life – they’ve lost their “lovie”, that favorite blankie, stuffed animal, or toy that goes EVERYWHERE with them. To your child it’s the best friend and favorite item they own and they cherish it with all of their tiny hearts. To us parents, seeing them this upset is heartbreaking. On that fateful day when it happened to us I felt responsible and helpless, especially with my daughter’s anxiety and the way her lovie soothed her. It’s my job to make sure everything and everyone that goes into the grocery store comes back out with me. It’s frazzling to have twin toddlers in the grocery store and I’ve always let them bring their lovies so they can play while I try and shop with as minimal distraction as possible. It was a lesson learned the hard way.
We know for sure “Yellieman” (as she called it) was lost inside the grocery store because I had taken a picture of them in the shopping cart and my twinnie was holding it in the picture. Fast forward to the checkout lane and we noticed it was gone. We retraced all of our steps, notified the customer service booth, talked to all the sales clerks and stock boys that we could find. We had people looking for days and even searching the trash. Phone calls were made every morning and every night to the store to check in. I made a “missing lovie” post and reposted it in all the local Facebook yard sale groups. My husband even took our twinnie back to the store on numerous occasions with a flashlight so she could check everywhere herself too. I’m afraid it’s gone forever. All of this may sound like overkill, but trust me — if this ever happens to you and you have to hear your little girl say “I’m worried about Yellieman and I really love and miss him,” you would do the same.
It was very hard for our daughter in the first days since she lost it. We had to assure her that everyone was looking for it and everyone was doing everything they could. I think letting her help look around the grocery store herself with her requested flashlight helped her process it. It made her feel like she was doing everything she could too. After 2 days, we told her that maybe it had to go to another child’s house to help them they way it had helped her. She seemed to accept this theory, on and off. We tried to replace “Yellieman” with an exact replica, but she knew the difference and wasn’t having it.
The last thing my husband and I did was give her a used stuffed animal that very different from her lost best friend. We told her his name is Wally and he really needs you to love him and take care of him; he’s chosen you to be his friend. We really stressed that he was in need of her love and that seemed to help her take him in. We praised her every time she gave him hugs and kisses or rocked him like a baby; it encouraged her to bond with it. In time she talked less and less about “Yellieman” and accepted the new lovie like her old one. She even started to let the new one soothe her when her anxiety was building up.
Parents, there is a light at the end of the sleepless night tunnel when this happens to you. All you can do is try to be patient and understanding with your toddler. For most kids, it’s the first kind of loss they experience in their lives and it’s a tough lesson to learn.
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