Last updated on September 28th, 2021 at 01:57 pm
When you’re expecting twins, it becomes too overwhelming to address all of the causes of your anxieties at once. I noticed that my husband and I each fixated on small details. He became obsessed with our car situation, and I was freaking out about giving the twins the wrong names. Yes naming twins was my on my list of things to stress about.
It’s funny that this is what I focused on with my twin pregnancy considering that naming my oldest was a hot topic during my first pregnancy as well. My husband was not a fan of the name I wanted, and I had to invoke the time served clause. I carried her for nine months, therefore I named her. Discussing the twins’ names was far less polarizing, but a new problem presented itself. What if we gave the wrong name to the wrong twin?
To fully set the stage, I need to start from the beginning. Even before my husband and I were married, I had a feeling. Actually, it was more of a premonition, now that I look back on it. I knew we would have three girls. When I informed my husband of his future, he laughed and said, “That’s impossible, because we are only having two kids.” I continued the psychic reading by naming them and describing their personalities. Veronica, the oldest, would be dramatic and serious. Stella, the middle child, would be playful and funny. Evangeline, the youngest, would be sweet and quirky. My husband shook his head and gave me the amused but loving look that is reserved only for me, and said, “Two will be just enough.” I had no concept of the reality that is three pregnancies and three children, so I naively stood my ground. Three will be the perfect number.
Fast forward to a few months after our first child was born, and I was definitely singing another tune. I hated being pregnant and then suffered from postpartum depression. I couldn’t imagine a second round of this, let alone a third. So, I finally resigned to just having two children. A year and a half later, an ultrasound confirmed that I would have the three kids I always knew I would have, and a chromosome test confirmed that I was indeed psychic. They were both girls.
My husband immediately began researching minivans online, while I started to try to bond with my little embryos. When I was pregnant with my first, I had no problem visualizing my little girl. I called her by her name and knew all of her favorite womb positions. I could even tell when she had the hiccups. The first two trimesters of being pregnant with the twins, I had no idea who was kicking or who had the hiccups. It just felt like two puppies wrestling and rolling around on top of each other. I would be convinced that Baby A was the rowdy one, only to find out that they switched spots. I was already worried about how hard it would be to bond with two babies at once. Not being able to distinguish between them in the womb was only compounding those worries. How was I ever going to know which one was playful and funny and which one was sweet and quirky!?!
I voiced my concerns to whoever would listen. My husband said we should just wait until we hangout with them for a couple days. Something told me this would be too confusing. I remember being so out of it after my first c-section that I kept calling Veronica a “he.” I could only imagine how much worse it would be with two of them. The naming process was a subsection of the nesting process for me. I needed that done before the newborn insanity began.
A friend suggested assigning the names as they come out. The first one would be Stella, and the second would be Odette. I know that I said the youngest would be Evangeline, but part of the negotiations for naming our first child involved my husband getting to choose the next baby’s name. Odette was his great grandmother’s name, and it was a name I never knew I loved until he said it. Randomly assigning the names seemed like the easiest route, but I was worried that I would realize a year later that we assigned the wrong names to their personalities. It would drive me crazy for the rest of my life!
Someone else had the idea of coming up with new names that were more twin inspired. We weren’t really open to similar sounding names, because it was important to us that we gave them separate identities as often as possible. Also, having the same first letter would be counterproductive when it came time to label personal items. Besides, my premonition was coming true minus the switch from Evangeline to Odette. If I changed too much, I could accidentally shift time into another dimension. What? This isn’t the kind of stuff you think about while pregnant with twins. Is it?
The only thing I could do was try to keep up with who was where at the ultrasounds and coordinate it with repeated behavior. Then at one appointment in particular, the tech made a comment about a great profile and getting a better image. She switched wands, and all of a sudden, there was Baby A looking straight into the camera with an actual smirk on her face. We both gasped, and the tech quickly captured the image. That playful grin was the sign I was waiting for. Baby A was my Stella, and I could rest assured that I had not disrupted the time/space continuum.
It’s three years later, and Stella is definitely a playful and funny little girl. But, honestly, so is Odette. And, they are both sweet and quirky. Obviously, there is no way to predict our kids’ personalities and name them accordingly (unless, of course, you’re psychic like me). All you can do is trust your instincts and make peace with your decision. If you’re having a hard time with this or any other big parenting decisions with permanent results, I’d like to impart some wisdom that my mother-in-law shared with my husband and I when we were grappling over where to send our oldest to school. “Get over yourself. There will be plenty more opportunities to make the wrong decision.”
Mandy Roussel is mom to three girls, two of which are twins. When she’s not writing about mom life, she can be found watching too much reality tv, dance partying with her girls, and laughing at/with her husband. You can find more of Mandy’s musings on her blog and on Facebook.
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