Single Mom of Twins: Advice For Doing it Solo

Last updated on February 14th, 2024 at 04:45 pm

Single and raising twins? You are not alone. Check out the advice and tips from single parents from the Twiniversity community shared about raising twins solo.

If you’re a single mom, you know the struggles that come with solo parenting. If you are a single mom of twins, most days might feel defeating. We recently had a single twin mom ask, “How do other single moms get through every day while still giving their twins the best life possible? I am a single mom of 2-year-old twin boys and I struggle in every aspect (emotionally, physically, financially) and it feels impossible. I’m drowning and I need advice.”

Advice for Single Parents of Twins

Here are all the tips, advice, and pleasantries other single twin parents had to share.

• You’ve got this! Emotionally – self-care is not selfish – even if it’s a 15-minute window to read a book, listen to a podcast, or do a home workout when the boys are sleeping….Something to help you feel like you. Take a break. Financially – sell things, do free activities (local park, library, crafts/games with items in your house/from free community pages), trade/give/get with other twin mamas. Our local MOTA group is great for this. There was a 3rd thing, but twin mom brain. 😂 –tiffanygarrigan

• I’m a solo mom of donor-conceived twin girls who will be 2yrs next month. I’m also a caregiver to my terminally ill mother who is currently at the end-of-life stage. The last 7 months with her diagnosis of stage 4 pancreatic cancer, my twins starting daycare, and me returning to work at the exact same time have, hands down, been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But my twins keep me going and give me strength. I’m a very organized person and I’ve found that has helped make things a tiny bit easier with raising them. I have them on a good schedule for naps and bedtime and I try to keep them entertained with small outings with other mom friends and their kids. When all else is too much, I am ok with screen time and following their lead. My friends try to help out every so often, especially with my mom being sick, but having them in daycare has helped even though they are constantly sick themselves. Hugs! Just keep things simple and one day at a time! 😍-munasg

• At the end of every day, know that you and your twins survived, and that’s enough. Take it one day, one hour, one minute at a time. Your boys are loved and that is all that matters in the end. As a twin mom, it is harder than anyone can understand, especially when you are the primary caretaker. But you can do it, and life is long. Try to stay present and know that this season is temporary. –hollyfuchtman

• Mommy, I understand what you are going through right now 😢. I’m a single mom to 4 years old twins (boy and girl). My babies were so sick at the beginning of this year, l decided to pull them out of school and let them stay with my mom during the day. It was the saddest decision l have ever had to make because it meant changing our routine, more emotional strain, etc. It’s been rough, sis, I won’t lie. One thing that l can say is helping me is not being hard on myself and learning to let go of negative things quickly. Don’t live in your head too much, Mom. It will get easier, I promise. Love and light to you and the babies. 😍-hollyfuchtman

• My advice is to appreciate the good and learn from the bad. This is a temporary moment, a temporary feeling, and a temporary struggle. It gets better. Sending love. ❤️ –nikaury_0000

• I was a single twin mom for 7 years. The 4 am nights of double sick kids in your bed, potty training alone…It was so rough. No one got it. There was no explaining why it was hard. My best advice, if possible, build a village. Friends and relatives to help when you’re exhausted. If there is one, join a mom/parents of multiples group. They get it! They really do! Even if they aren’t single, they know what it’s like to have two against one. Give yourself grace. Sometimes you’ll ace the Mom day. Sometimes you’ll go to bed feeling like 💩. But as long as you show up for the kids, they’ll see you as the amazing Mom you are! Sending love, support, hugs, and strength. 😍 –mytwincircus

Additional Advice

• One thing I have had to remember is that my twins’ “best life possible” is going to look different than my friend’s child who is a singleton. Making time for yourself is a MUST. It can feel impossible, but if I don’t give myself my own time, then I’m going to be shorter with my twins and not be the best mom for them. –karentarancon

• All you can do some days is breathe and take it minute by minute. It is a heavy load. I find it best to try and take a step away. 15 minutes… Anything I can take to refocus. You have to find what works best for you. –vonautumn

• I am separated. The father decided to go away when my twin boys were 1.5 y.o, and now they are 3. He pays half of the expenses. I think working outside the house is a mental need and I am blessed to have it. They are in a flexible schedule daycare and I leave them with my parents when they are sick. I think being organized is essential. I wake up M-S at 4:40 am and go to bed at 8:40 pm. I prayed to God to renew my strength every morning. Coffee is my best friend 😂😂 ONE DAY AT A TIME!💕-irenevalerio

• I’m a single mom by choice to three-year-old b/g twins and can it be hard…yes! Look at all the great things you did…Did you get them out of the house on time today? That’s a win. Take each moment as they come and if it doesn’t go as planned, look at what did. You got this!-torontotwina

• I’m a single mom of 2-year-old boys, and it is tough. One day at a time and a good daycare! –aimeehair00

• First off, I want to tip my cap to those single twin moms out there! That is inspiring and you are awesome! 👏 👏 As a twin mom of two-year-old boys, there are days I am mentally exhausted doing everything I can for my boys and six-year-old girl. They are non-stop!! What has worked for me is having a short exercise routine of 20–25 minutes at home (we don’t have time for hour-long trips to the gym) of high-intensity workouts at least 4 times a week. Ask for help if you need it. Most important to me is remembering that God built me for this and with His help through trust and prayer, I can handle anything these kids throw at me! You’re doing GREAT, being a twin mom is not easy! ❤️❤️ –sboyett24

• Just keep remembering, you’ll be grateful you have twin boys when they’re 5 (like mine) and they are best friends! They will always have each other to play with and won’t bother you constantly to play with them. Twin boys are the absolute best! Keep the faith mama. It’s tough now, but it gets better. –lauren.moras

• As moms who have social media, we often put so much pressure on ourselves. I promise even if most of your days are boring if all you can do is manage to put food on the table, YOU are doing a great job!!! Also, try to stay off of media of all kinds. I know it’s a way to connect when you don’t get much time, but it also fills the quiet time when your brain could rest. You can put in that 10 mins of full attention to your kids and that means everything to them. –kimberlieraffan

• Same here, single mum of 2-year-old boys. It’s sooooo hard, but it keeps getting easier. Resell everything you don’t need anymore. Take lots of pictures, and accept any help offered. So glad to read so many mamas like us. –andrea.b.m._

• Sending lots of love and hugs ❤️. I have a very supportive husband and it is STILL so hard to care for my almost 3yo twin boys. All I can say is try not to be hard on yourself. You are doing the job of multiple people with twice the work. Take a deep breath, sit down, and try to enjoy your children while they are small. It’s ok not to enjoy every moment and admit that it’s hard because IT IS! Help is needed and try to accept it when you can. –awesley6686

• Do not feel guilty for getting a babysitter or general help if you need a few hours for yourself. This is something I always struggle with. It’s hard! –natattack2019

• Oh, man. I have 2-year-old twin boys too. They are number 8 and 9 tho 🤦🏻‍♀️. I’m not single, but my hubby is hardly ever here. It is soooo hard!! You aren’t alone and this to shall pass. It will get better. Don’t lose hope. You got this!!! –julieleithornton

More Advice, Keep Reading

• Routine and getting out of the house. Even if some days that’s going to the park 3 times. I do what I can during the work week to get out of work early on Fridays or even use a half day of PTO. This gives me time to run errands without the twins, so we can have more fun on the weekends. I also have a cleaning person who comes every other week for two hours. She does not do everything but knocks things off my plate so I can focus on my kids and not break the bank. Lastly, I prioritize myself for 1 hour a day before bed and just relax. Could be a long hot shower/bath, lying on the couch with the dog, watching a mindless TV show, or scrolling through Instagram. Lastly, be sure to use your village, little things add up fast! –twinmoemmy_smbc

• I’m in the same boat as you. I’ve heard it gets easier around age 6. Hopefully! 🙏🏾❤️ –thedoublemtwins

• It will get easier. I have twin girls, 3 years old. Keep it simple, let them amuse each other. Routine helps and take time out for you. xx –itsallaboutyoupsychotherapy

• Solo mum to b/g donor conceived twins who just had their 1st birthday. It’s been tough at times. Emotionally, I struggle. I think it’s the lack of sleep that plays a massive part. I wish I had asked friends and family for more help, so I could be the best mummy for them. I think because I opted to do this solo, I feel I have to do as much as I can by myself. My advice, take the help, ask for help and make time for yourself. Also not sure where you are in the world, but financially, check if you’re entitled to any benefits to help you out. You got this! xxx –vickybrake

• Cliché to say, but take it day by day. If not already, try a solid schedule. The babies nap time is pure heaven for me and it’s time to myself that I can rely on. If the house is a mess or dinner is takeout…Oh well! I know it’s difficult, by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but hang in there. My heart goes out to all the twin moms out there. 💛 –4da99_2000

• Same. Literally. All of it. Single mom of 2-year-old twin boys and struggling in every way. Have no support. I do utilize WIC, food banks, and get some food stamps. That definitely helps. I have them on a pretty strict routine every day and we leave the apt and go to the park twice a day. –rubyfginger

• Feel you! I’m a single mom of 4 kids including my 3y old twin girls. They give me the hardest time. I would say routine. Let your groceries be delivered. Cook in the evening for the next day. Let things go. I may have a messy house sometimes because I stress out about everything, but in the end, my mental state is more important than having an organized house. Btw, which is impossible with toddlers. ❤️I wish you strength and courage. 🙏 –tammy_c2

• Coffee, wine, and patience. My twins are now 3, and things are looking up. My twins (unlike our 7-year-old) used to wake up 3 to 4 times per night EACH. It was mentally exhausting!! As soon as we reached out for help, they started sleeping throughout the night. Hopefully the same happens to you! 😊-juandiegoelcurioso

Even More Advice

• I feel u mama! I’m a single twin mama of twin boys. Just have to find the beauty in everything. I hear you cause its harddddd, but work hard and try to find light in it all. God will make ends meet in time.❤️ –genesisplustwo

• Not a single twin mom, but sending love. Food bank for your financial troubles. Maybe FB group similar to your situation. You aren’t alone. ♥️ –scherbatsky42

• I’m a single mom to two sets of twins. All of them are autistic and I am with them full-time. I understand the feeling of overstimulation, defeat, and self-consciousness; but I also understand the love and compassion our children need from us. From my experience, apply for CalWORKs, Calfresh, and everything you can to support the financial part of your situation. I, too, struggle with the everyday life of single momhood and all I can say is that you were meant for this and you’re a great mom because these beautiful beings chose you. Give yourself some grace and stay encouraged. Establish a strong routine and stay consistent no matter what, but also be flexible for your kids and yourself! Nothing will ever be perfect. Continue to show them love and support. Our babies won’t be babies long ❤️. Sending you lots of light and strength. –marge.a.bautista

• Single mom here 🙋🏻‍♀️. Four-year-old b/g twins an 8 yr old. Some days are tougher than others. Accept the help offered. Let the house get messy sometimes. Take some me time when you can. All the tiny moments you spend with them will matter and erase all the negativity away. Also typing this to remind myself because I forget. May God bless you all on this beautiful journey of parenthood 💛. –danielson656

• I’m a single mom of 21-month-old b/g twins and it is tough. It is nice to see all these other single twin moms respond. I know other twin moms but not other single twin moms. It is nice to know we are not alone. Sending you ❤️. –mae528

• Not a mom, but a single dad of 2 yo twin girls. I found out that enjoying the little things makes me happier and they enjoy the even smaller things. If they smile and they are happy, they don’t care for more. Tomorrow will be a better day, you’ll see. –ocamjia

• Single mama of 2 yr old twin boys as well!! It is SO freakin’ hard and I’m right there with ya mama!! –krystalkimberly21

• Do you have ERDC? Maybe it’s something worth looking into. I can’t imagine not having a daycare. Reach out to your local DHS for help. Good luck. –chloencalvintwins

A Little Praise Never Hurts!

• Our boys are almost two and I can’t even imagine how tough it is to do it entirely on your own. Twin boys are another level! I am awed by you moms that do it alone. What amazing women you are!! 🙌🔥 Moms of multiples are rockstars! –ashbcarone

• I can’t imagine! Sending lots of love and strength to you momma🙌. You’re a hero. –chrissymajik

Being a single twin parent is hard work! With the right support system, you can make it through this challenging time and come out stronger on the other side. Let Twiniversity help. We offer a Twin Parent Membership, that allows you to connect with other twin parents (virtually) and gain more parenting education.

This membership includes a Monthly Meeting with helpful topics, expert advice, and you get to hang with the OG twin mom squad, Nat and Lauren. You will have the opportunity to ask questions, give advice to other parents and just connect with other twin families.

We all need a village, let Twiniversity be yours!

*Question was posted on the Twiniversity Instagram page on October 19, 2022