Last updated on July 1st, 2024 at 04:28 pm
The global twin birth rate has risen by one-third over the past 40 years, yet twins still attract circus-animal-like attention from people, with many constantly compelled to ask: Are they twins?
As a twin mom, I can not deny the magnetism created by two children that look very close in age and resemble each other in many ways. If the gawking wasn’t enough, you also get a wide range of absurd, often intrusive questions about your twins and how they came to be. I do believe that MOST people generally mean well. However, I still stand by the rule: If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all… unless provoked.
Best Comebacks to Questions About Twins
Here’s what our Twiniversity fans had to say were their best comebacks and responses to silly questions about twins.
Q: Are they twins?
A: What? I only had one when I left the house.
Q: How do you do it?
A: I don’t, I just let them run around the house naked, eating Cheerios out of the box.
Q: Are they identical?
A: Same face. Same outfits. Same stroller. Same all the things!
Q: Are they biological twins?
A: Um, what? They are most definitely biological twins.
Q: Did you use IVF??
A: No, we used s-e-x.
Q: Did you try to have twins?
A: Yeah, my husband and I had sex twice on the same day.
I can’t tell you how many times I have said this and people BELIEVE ME!
Q: Are they twins?
A: No, this is mine and my husband’s, and this is the one he had with his mistress.
One day, when my identical twin girls were in particularly frilly dresses with matching bonnets, a lady asked if one was a boy! My response: “Yep! But my husband and I really wanted identical girls, so we decided to dress our son like his sister!”
Q: Are they natural?
A: Nope, we got the parts at Babies R Us, and assembled them at home.
When I was pregnant people would say “Oh my gosh, TWINS! What are you going to do?” I’d say, “Well, I can’t really put one back, now can I?”
Even More Comebacks
Q: Are they twins?
A: No, just siblings that share the same birthday.
Q: Wow! Twins! How did you conceive them?
A: Oh honey, that talk should’ve been had with you a long time ago… you see, when 2 people drink enough tequila…
Q: How do you do it?
A: I tried to give them back, but the hospital wouldn’t take them!
Q: Was it IVF?
A: No, I just kept my legs up longer after my husband had finished.
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Q: Are you sure they’re not identical?
A: I break out in song, “One of these things is not like the others. One of these things just doesn’t belong…”
Q: Are they twins or are they sisters?
A: Yes.
Q: What’s the age difference? I mean obviously that one is way older.
A: Umm… 2 minutes.
Q: 2 minutes?
A: Yes, we got pregnant pretty quick after the first one.
My answer for everything: “That’s what happens when you have a threesome.”
Q: Do twins run in your family?
A: No, I just gave it 110% that night.
Q: Are they twins?
A: Nope, definitely A.I.
Q: Which one do you love more?
A: They are both equally disappointing.
Q: Are they natural?
A: No, they’re supernatural. That one can fly and the other has x-ray vision.
They Just Keep Coming
Q: Are they natural?
A: Yes. Would you like to know what position we were in?
Q: Are they natural?
A: Yes, they are carbon-based life forms.
Q: How does that happen?
A: Um, we had sex a lot!
Q: Are they natural?
A: Yes, homegrown, free-range kinda natural!
Q: Are they twins?
A: No, they are 4 months apart.
Q: How do you tell them apart?
A: I just can. Because I’m their Mom!
Q: Who was born first?
This question always gets me. Like, honestly, from a stranger, why does that even matter?
Q: Are they identical?
A: Nope, boy and girl twins can’t be! I’ve been asked this question so often that I just answer with the blunt truth.
Q: Are your boy/girl twins identical? (My MA asked me this at my 6 week follow up visit at my OBGYN’s office)
A: No, they aren’t. (With a major “did she just ask me that” look on my face!)
Twiniversity Staff Writer
