Last updated on December 2nd, 2023 at 11:42 pm
Don’t you just love it when someone makes your day with a kind word or gesture? It helps you get through the day with a little more skip in your step. We oftentimes come here to vent about the appalling things people say or do (“better you than me,” touching our babies etc…) and that is okay; we need to vent from time to time. But we also want to bring you the good stories of what people say and do and to help the public know the ways they can be helpful to not only parents of multiples, but to any parent. These are things any ordinary person can say/do to help make the day of a parent.
Nice Words
“I was loading my boys into the car in a parking lot and a lady was waiting to get out of her car in the spot next to me. After I had closed the door and started putting the stroller in the trunk, she got out and said ‘You are so calm and patient with them! They are lucky to have you!’ It was also especially great because I FELT frazzled and fumbling, but I didn’t realize I LOOKED patient and calm! That lady managed to brighten my day.”
– Tana L.
Other things that some wonderful people can and did say that is appreciated: “They’re beautiful.” “Your kids are so well behaved!” “You’re such an awesome parent!” “You have the patience of a saint!” “You are so blessed.” “You’re a rock star. Carry on, warrior.”
No Comment
Sometimes saying nothing at all is the way to go. Kayla says, “For once I’d like to walk through a store and not have to stop every aisle just to hear an unhelpful comment or answer questions.” Yeah, sometimes celebrity status gets old.
Twin Parent to Twin Parent
What do parents need to hear when they ask other, more experienced twin moms, “Does it get easier?” We may be tempted to say, “No, it doesn’t get easier!” as we were just calming an epic meltdown or listening to the bickering of twins on their bad day. But think about why the mother is asking the question. She is looking for hope. You are the perfect person to give her that hope. I really like how Kathleen says it: “It may not get easier, but you just get better and you’re doing an amazing job!” With each situation we learn how to handle anything that is thrown our way in the future. The “crazy” refines our personality and our abilities. And offer her a compliment too, so she has the confidence that she is doing great and on her way to being greater. Also, I make it a point to tell moms with infants that things DO get better once you are sleeping though the night again. Sleep makes a world of difference!
Help Wanted!
For some people accepting help is difficult. Yeah we want it, but I have no idea why we feel the need to let you off the hook by telling you, “Thanks, but no thanks.” Some parents have the mentality that we have to do this all on our own. We have to be Super Mom/Dad. So asking, “How can I help?” may be futile and is no more than a polite gesture on your part. Instead offer to do something and mean it. Just tell them, “This is what I want to do for you.” Offer to clean the house, cook a meal, babysit the kids or anything else you are in a position to help with. New twin mom April said, “Our neighbor told us: ‘I will take care of your lawn this year.’” (Talk about neighbor of the year! This person deserves a medal!)
After you have forced us to accept your help, we realize how much we needed that little break in our day. Even strangers can help make our day better by holding the door for us, helping us pack our groceries in the car, or distracting our kids for a moment while we try to do finish a task like pay for our purchases. And don’t forget to offer a compliment (refer to #1) so that we know you are not annoyed by the behavior of our kids.
So if you are a nurse, doctor, stranger, friend, associate of a parent, any parent… then let’s try to be supportive of each other and think before we speak or discern when to keep quiet. Build each other up each time we can, we have enough pressures on us as it is.
