How We Explained My Dad's Cancer To Our Kids

How We Explained My Dad’s Cancer To Our Kids

Last updated on August 3rd, 2023 at 10:45 pm

The old adage “laughter is the best medicine” had become a motto for my family. However, insane or inappropriate it made us seem, we always preferred to find humor in sad or scary situations and laugh our way through it. So when my dad, affectionately known as Pops to his grandkids, was diagnosed with stage 2 mildly aggressive form of prostate cancer in January of 2016, tears and shock didn’t last long before humor took over. This quirky family trait unknowingly gave us a positive way to talk to our kids about Pops’ cancer.

The few weeks between diagnosis and treatment plan was pretty quiet. We all had questions and concerns but no answers until my parents visited with the oncologist. The doctor could not have been more positive and optimistic about the outcome. No surgery or chemotherapy, but a strict schedule of radiation treatments; every day for 8 weeks. During the conversation about side effects and recurrence rates the doctor asked my dad a simple question: What makes you happy. Pops replied with “easy, my grandkids”. One of the lesser known side effects to this type of treatment was depression. The doctor warned that if there was ever a time my dad didn’t want to see his grandkids or became easily frustrated by them, he wanted to hear about it. Thankfully, my dad never suffered from that particular side effect. He was drained of energy and had trouble regulating his body temperature but he continued to work 40 hours a week and spend time with his family.

It was a month later that one of our kids asked point blank “what’s cancer”. I explained that it starts as one sick cell that multiplies into a group of sick cells that doctors find and treat. I kept it positive explaining Pops treatment and how he might not feel the best for the next couple of months. But all our kids could focus on was that Pops was sick. It was my science minded husband who jokingly told the kids that Pops was going to turn into a lightning bug. And just like that ‘cancer’ wasn’t scary anymore, it was a super power. The kids loved chasing lightning bugs in the summer; begged to stay out longer and catch them in jars. And the fact that their Pops was going to become one was mind blowing. So from then on, all the treatments and doctors’ appointments were lovingly referred to as lightning bug appointments.

The eight weeks of radiation treatments seem to work like clock-work for my dad. He’d work his eight hours, go to treatment, and then the afternoon was his. Sometimes he would go home and rest, sometimes he would visit grandkids. I don’t recall him ever complaining. He talked about joking around with the nurses and technicians or making conversation with people awaiting their treatments like he was. He seemed the very opposite of depressed, he seemed grateful. He appreciated his doctors’ positivity and optimism for a great outcome, all the support from his family and friends, but I think he was happy that we could find the humor in it. His four grandkids weren’t shy around him and everyone in the family had taken the lightning bug reference and ran with it.

June 8th, 2016 was his last radiation treatment and his immediate family was waiting at his car with a blue balloon, the color of prostate cancer awareness, a sign, and flowers to celebrate. Although he hadn’t technically been declared cancer free, it was still a day to remember. And just over a year after his original diagnoses, he’s acing all his check-ups, he’s symptom free from his radiation treatments, and there’s less than a 1% chance he’ll ever be diagnosed with prostate cancer again. There are very few reminders that he was ever a cancer patient; just a new nickname and a solar powered lightning bug figurine that’s always good for a laugh.

All content on this Web site, including medical opinion and any other health-related information, is for informational purposes only and should not be considered to be a specific diagnosis or treatment plan for any individual situation. Use of this site and the information contained herein does not create a doctor-patient relationship. Always seek the direct advice of your own doctor in connection with any questions or issues you may have regarding your own health or the health of others.

Leah Bryant is a stay at home mom of three, identical twin girls and a son. She is a proud Kansas native (insert favorite Toto quote here) and currently resides in the Kansas City metro area. Besides being constantly surprised by the wonders of raising twins and caring for her family, Leah’s hobbies include cooking/baking, gardening, reading actual grown up books along with Dr. Suess, and cheering on her favorite home-grown sports teams. Leah also meets the challenge of keeping up with Sonny, the newest member of the family. He is an American Eskimo dog the family adopted after he was rescued from a puppy mill.

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