How to Handle Kids Hand Me Downs

Last updated on November 2nd, 2023 at 11:42 am

After the holidays (and our quad’s shared birthday), I am usually overwhelmed with stuff. It’s incredible just how much stuff four toddlers can amass. It seems as if our closets are constantly in a state of flux, burgeoning with clothes, toys, and other gear. Consequently, several days each year are devoted to decluttering with the removal of outgrown items.

Here are some guidelines I use to determine what to do with things we are no longer using:

If items are broken and beyond repair, or badly stained, please, please, please throw them away. Charities do not want items that are not usable, and neither do your friends, family members, or neighbors. Donate only items in good working condition that you would like to receive.

Donate items to a charitable organization. If your chosen charity provides donor receipts, be sure to keep a thorough log of items donated. According to IRS regulations, establishing a dollar value on donated items is the responsibility of the donor. Be aware that federal law requires that clothing and other household goods are in “good used condition or better” for tax deductions (Remember, if something is no longer in good used condition, toss it out!)

Pass items along to friends, family members, or neighbors. If you are giving items to friends, let them know the items are theirs to keep. Remember, once it is theirs, they decide what happens when they are finished using it (e.g. pass on, donate, toss, or sell). If you are okay with your hand me downs being sold later, let the new owner know. Selling outgrown hand me downs may help them purchase other needed items for their children.

Lend items to friends or family members. If you have items you would like to lend to family members or friends, consider if it will be okay if you do not get the item back. With babies and small children things can happen. Toys may be broken, clothes may be soiled, or the parent may forget who lent it to them. If you must have the item back in excellent condition, you probably don’t want to lend it to anyone. Also, if you choose to lend items to other families, be sure to clearly label them with your family name. This will increase the odds you get the item back in good working condition. Finally, don’t be offended if someone feels uncomfortable borrowing from you, especially if the item is expensive.

Participate in consignment sales or consign in local resale shops. Many local Mothers of Multiples clubs host group wide consignment sales where a portion of the sale goes back to the club for future events. This is a fantastic option because the club organizes and advertises for the sale, which is far less work on your end. It’s also a fantastic way to sell matched and coordinated items since other members also have multiples. If you aren’t a member of a Mothers of Multiples club or if your club does not host a sale, there are also franchise consignment sales nationwide that are open to the public.

Post items for sale on local buy, sell, trade sites. Most communities have groups devoted to buying, selling, and trading on Facebook or similar apps online (ask your local friends and neighbors for suggestions on sites or groups to join). It’s an easy way to sell gently used items with little effort and no fees. There are also sites that allow for shipping of items nationwide, and some cater to multiples by requiring matched or coordinated sets. This is also a wonderful way to score needed items for your own children!

If you receive hand me down clothing or gear:

Thank the person sharing for their generosity. In addition to telling them in person, it’s nice to send a written message of appreciation. This could be a handwritten note, but electronic means (e.g. email, private message, etc.) are also acceptable.

Clarify the expectations when you are finished using the items. You do not want any confusion in this area! Wouldn’t it would be embarrassing if your friend saw the goods they gave you for sale and they actually lent them to you? If they told you it was okay to sell items, then it should not be a problem, but even so tread lightly with reselling.

If they would like items returned, decide if you are comfortable borrowing or not. If you are comfortable borrowing, verify that all items are well labeled and take note of what you borrowed, and then promptly return the items when you are finished. When you return items to the original owner make sure you return them in the same condition you received it in. If an item is well-worn or broken, it’s best to replace it. If you are uncomfortable borrowing items, let the other person know you are uneasy about borrowing and thank them for thinking of you.

If you sell outgrown items, it’s helpful to keep an account for proceeds to re-invest in your children. After all, kids are constantly outgrowing gear and then needing different things. Having an established fund helps ease the sting of new purchases.

Amber Shawver and her husband, George, are the proud parents of girl-boy-girl-boy quadruplets who debuted in 2012. Amber draws from her experiences working in childcare settings and as a school based behavioral consultant to manage raising quadruplets at home. Amber continues to practice school psychology part-time in an urban school district. She chronicles life raising quadruplets at Four to Adore. You can also find her on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.