Last updated on September 30th, 2021 at 10:15 am
I am a wife. I am a mother. I am a sister. I am a daughter. I miss ME. Now that might seem weird to people, but I miss what makes me happy. I knew from the get go after having our twins my husband was going to be the sole provider for our family and I was going to stay home with our twins. I knew that as they got older I would eventually start working again. But where would I go? Since I was 16 years old I worked retail — every single aspect of retail possible — and honestly, I can’t do it anymore. I know many families rely on retail as their income, but I am so burnt out from it. My 4.5 year break has made me appreciate the people who work at my favorite places but I cannot go back and work at them. As I saw my husband reaching his goal with what he wants to do for the rest of his life I realized I wanted that happiness.
My birth experience was amazing. I could speak high praises over every person I interacted with my entire pregnancy, pre-term labor scares, hospital stay, C-section, and postpartum time. I saw how they changed my life. I was terrified over the fact that I was going to be responsible for two newborns and they helped me ease into motherhood with twins. My husband saw that I lit up over what he would tell me from medical calls and suggested I look into becoming a nurse. I had flashbacks to my time when I was pregnant and I wanted to give people the experience I had. I started looking up schools in my area as to what I could do to get into a nursing program. Shortly after I started looking I hit my first speed bump: child care. The day care center that was closest to me had a 3 semester wait for a single child, which could be longer since I needed to get TWO into the same class. I was heartbroken that day care wasn’t in the cards for us financially without a second income. I decided that I would put my goals on hold until my girls were in school and honestly, it never bothered me. I still spent time looking at ways that I could make my dream a reality. I never gave up.
One day while I was looking to see what I could do I found that there was a phlebotomy program at a local private school. It was short and it was night classes. It was perfect for me. I saw a faint light at the end of the tunnel. I talked with my husband about taking the class to get my license and he supported me 100%. My husband said to me that as long as I am happy doing something he will be happy and make sure I get to where I want to go. In this time period of getting signed up for the class my mom had moved closer and offered to watch our girls for us. This right here saved my life as my husband was in the middle of a staffing pattern at work and wasn’t going to be off for a couple of weeks.
My first day started and I fell in love. I knew this is where I needed to go and what I needed to do. I spent my time studying and memorizing stuff after the girls went to bed. One day when I had gone to school I opened up my bag and saw a stuffed Hello Kitty in my bag, and had tears in my eyes. I missed my girls. The next morning I had asked the girls about it and they told me that they wanted me to remember them when I was at school. That was the best thing they had ever done for me.
Being in school is hard, being a parent in school is harder, and being a parent of toddler twins and being in school – exhausting! It took a while for myself and my girls to find our new routine, but once we found that balance everyone was happy. A balance that we had found was for them to do their homework at the same time as me. When they would complete their work I welcomed that break and was delighted that they were learning. Like any change, I had many doubts, but the help and support from my husband is what got me through it. I learned in this short time that had I done this straight out of high school I probably would have graduated college instead of dabbling in each subject and then dropping out.
As my time in school had gone by and I took my final tests, I knew that I found what made me happy. The next step that I had to do after I finished my schooling was an internship at a hospital. I had my student name tag on and I was convinced that no one would want a student to draw their blood, but I was requested by everyone to do it. When I would go home after my 8 hours every day I knew this is where I was meant to be. I got to interact with patients of all ages; I do have to say the 4 hour old babies were my favorite. Having my own children did affect me however. When I had patient that was the same age as my girls I fought hard to not cry when they cried as I was talking to them about their favorite movies/colors/song. I finally had a small dose of what my life would be like as a working parent and I have so much more respect for them. I had to learn how to take the full energy of my girls even though I had walked for 8 hours straight. I was used to my routine and learning a new one was a shock. I know it takes a while to get into a new one but I am excited to find my new routine. I finally felt like I was doing what I was supposed to do.
My next step is going to be hard. I am not the average age of students in college, but I will go back and graduate. It might take me years but I will become a nurse, and hopefully be a labor and delivery nurse. I have set goals on what I would like to accomplish, and if I don’t reach them in the time I gave myself I’m okay with that. I want to show my daughters that change is okay. I want to show them that setting goals for school, work, and life is a good thing to do. They will see that their parents made changes to better their life. We took a risk for my husband to get into the fire service and while the girls were too young to understand what was happening, they are fully aware now and understand what I am doing. I know being a stay at home parent isn’t for everyone, but do what makes YOU happy. It could take a while, but remember that your children can see if you are happy or not and to try your best at being happy is what matters most.
Robyn is currently a stay at home mom to her 4 year old fraternal twin daughters, Kayden and Kaylee, and wife to her husband, Roy. She is currently pursuing her career in the medical field.
