Expecting Again: Navigating Pregnancy with Twin Toddlers | Twiniversity #1 Parenting Twins Site

Expecting Again: Managing a Singleton Pregnancy with Twin Toddlers

Last updated on February 3rd, 2024 at 09:47 pm

When we started talking about having another baby after the twins, we kept finding reasons to put it off. We imagined caring for a singleton and the twins…we just knew we weren’t ready! At age two, the twins were finally both sleeping through the night. Now the twins are almost three years old…and by the time the next baby comes they will be 3 ½. That seemed like something we could handle…but what I forgot about was that I’d be caring for two kids as a stay-at-home mom while being pregnant with the next baby.

This completely slipped my mind until the positive test came. Suddenly I had flashbacks of surviving the first few months when I was pregnant with the twins. The first time everything made me sick, even smells, and I drove to work with a bucket on my lap just in case. Not pleasant, not glamorous…definitely not how you imagine pregnancy. And here I was again…and this time I KNEW what I was getting into, but my Mommy Brain had blurred those memories a bit. The parts of my heart that wanted another baby overruled the parts of my brain that remembered how unpleasant some parts of pregnancy could be.

Fortunately this pregnancy was different than the twins in some ways. I wasn’t as sick and I could lay on the couch when needed, as opposed to hauling my butt to work at 6:30 in the morning. I didn’t have to pretend to be fine and teach my classes, when all I really wanted to do was curl up under my desk. This time, I took advantage of my couch and the twins and I watched A LOT of TV in those first weeks. I canceled playdates, limited our outings, and stayed home as much as possible. That was nice, but it was also isolating and slightly depressing. But I took care of myself the best way I could.

This time around, I had a lot more health issues, which I never anticipated with singleton pregnancy: sciatic nerve issues (prenatal yoga required); carpal tunnel issues (requiring a wrist brace at night); pelvic pain (requiring that belly brace WAY earlier than before, and looking into physical therapy this time); and abnormal ultrasound results, causing the second half of my pregnancy to be much more stressful than with the twins. Everything seems to be OK now but it was a rough few months. The funny thing is that I had more issues this time around with just ONE baby.

The biggest difference, regardless of anything else, is this time I have two little people depending on me, requiring my attention and mothering 24 hours a day.

Here are some ideas and perspectives that have helped me through this 2nd pregnancy while caring for my twins:

Letting go of some of the mommy guilt. We watched a lot of TV early on, but I’m trying to make up for it on days when I feel better. I also have been trying to do “Date Days” where one kiddo spends time with daddy, or their grandma, to give the other twin some one-on-one time with me.

Prepping ahead of time! When I felt horrible in the mornings, I’d lay out everything the night before (their clothes, my clothes, coffee maker all set up, breakfast dishes laid out). It really helped make mornings easier when I felt awful. I’d make their breakfast, sit down for a few minutes, make mine, sit down again… Not having to think about what I was doing really helped. I could just go on autopilot.
Changing up dinner. Takeout became a regular thing, leftovers get worked into the weekly schedule, and any meal prep plan that works for you should be employed (I like Dream Dinners myself but there are a bunch of different kinds).
Eat whatever sounds good to you. There are times I’d make dinner only for it to look completely unappetizing by the time I finished (and I’m talking about basics like spaghetti or tacos, LOL). So I’d have scrambled eggs and toast, or a Greek yogurt and some carrot sticks. Don’t feel bad for what sounds good to you at that time. I tried to eat as healthy as I could but that doesn’t mean what I made for dinner always sounded good.
Remember to take care of yourself too. You are NO GOOD to anyone if you are running on empty yourself all of the time. Find a babysitter so you can run errands kid free, or nap! Hire a cleaning service if you can swing it. Take time to just rest when the twins nap and DON’T stress about the dishes or anything else. For goodness sake, you are only human AND growing one too! Your growing baby needs you too, and sometimes takes more out of you than the already born children.

Prep kid kits when you have to bring them with to the OB. Pack special “Doctor’s Appointment Packs” to occupy the kids if you have to bring them with you (stickers, mini coloring books, etc… there are some awesome ones that come prepacked at Target for $1!)
Accepting help whenever you can so you don’t have to take the kids to all of the doctor’s appointments!
Pack ahead (for the twins) for the big day. When you are further along, pack an overnight bag AND a special activity bag for the kids. The overnight bag is for the twins if you need to drop them off with a family member on the way to the hospital, and the activity bag is in case your spouse needs to occupy the twins at the hospital until someone can pick them up.

Celebrate the new addition! We talk a lot about the arrival of their new baby brother. The girls like to draw pictures for him, and cuddle with my stomach. They even like to give him a kiss on my bump before bed every night. Getting them excited helps me to stay excited, and not drown in the endless chores, pains, and appointments. We let the girls do the gender reveal and open the box filled with blue balloons. I plan to let them help with some of the nursery prep to make sure they feel included.

One of the perks is that I’m not worried about the jealousy issue. They have always had to share…well, everything. Although they don’t always like it, they are pretty good about it most days. Later in my pregnancy, I want to get out their baby dolls and some play bottles and diapers. We might do the sibling class that the hospital offers too.

Now, we have gotten some of the “you know how that happens right?” comments from strangers, while pointing at my belly. “Yes, we have an understanding of the reproductive system,” I want to respond to that stranger in Target. I’m not sure where everyone got the idea that it was OK to comment on and suggest the proper number of children to complete someone else’s family. Yes, we already had two kids and chose to have another. We might have a 4th, who knows? My advice? Don’t let other people’s comments affect your feelings about your family.

When you have multiples sometimes you have to plan ahead or do things differently. The same goes for when you add a 3rd, a 4th, a 5th, etc. Find things that make your family life run smoother. Pregnancy after twins is completely doable, but you do have to think outside the box sometimes. Like when you need to take both kiddos to your OB appointment! Not my most fun day, but we survived.

Stephanie Cleland is a high school teacher who traded in her teen students for adorable twin toddlers and now spends her days entertaining her almost 3 year “twinadoes”. She married her college sweet heart, Kirk, and her hobbies include scrapbooking and other creative projects. She also is working on a blog ilovemytwinadoes.weebly.com.