Dear Parents of Young Multiples, From Those of Us Who Have Been There

Last updated on February 3rd, 2024 at 07:05 pm

We asked our Twiniversity parents of multiples ages 5 and up the following question:

“If you could give advice to parents of younger multiples, what would you say?”

They provided some very insightful and heartwarming advice. Here it is!

The best advice I can give is do things one on one with them, as hard as it is to do sometimes. The girls appreciate alone time with mom or alone time with dad. They love being a twin because they are best friends but they like feeling uniquely special too.

My boys are 10 and it has been adventure! The best words of wisdom I can offer….take each day as it comes and enjoy every minute. It goes by so fast and it is hard to remember when they were little. Take tons of pictures, you will need them to remind you how amazing of a mom you are to have raised two little ones at the same time!

Don’t spend a lot of money on toys and birthdays while they are under 3!! If I could get back all the money we spent on toys and parties, I would be a millionaire. Let’s face it they have no clue at that age. The parties are for us. 🙂

Mother of 5 year old twins! They say each will have their very own personalities that can tell them apart…well mine switch personalities weekly!! BEWARE…lol!!

My #1 bit of advice? Relax!! It’s all gonna be ok!! there are many, many ways to be a good mommy – don’t compare yourself to others, especially moms of singletons.

I have 13 year old girls. Treat them as individuals not as “the twins”. Also put them in different classes in school.

I love that I took lots of pictures and videos of their younger years because it seems it is easy to remember the messes and drama, but the cute sweet moments are harder to recall. Journal, take pictures and make scrapbooks, whatever might help you to remember through the sleep deprived fog.

I have 19 year old identical girls. People still ask if they’re twins (and many times we get asked if we’re triplets). One of the things that just kind of happened (I suppose by modeling the behavior) was that i helped my girls learn to be patient and to be nice with people who will ask questions about being twins. i think twins will always be mini-celebrities, and i think it’s important for them to be good to others (most –not all– people mean well).

Our twins are 9 and as babies I highly suggest getting them on the same exact schedule all of the time.  Don’t ever buy 2 of the same toy. We separated the twins after Kindergarten. They still sleep in same room. Stopped dressing them the same at 2. They have different friends. They are on the same sports teams. One on one time is a must. And yes people still ask if they are twins.

When times are crazy and it’s late and you’re completely exhausted, try your best to take a deep breath and remember you are not alone. You can do this. Be strong for you and be strong for your kids. And if that doesn’t help, just cry along with them. We’ve all done it!! You have to do what works for you and your family. There’s nothing wrong with taking other’s advice and trying it out, but in the end if it doesn’t work, do what you feel is best for you and your kids at that specific time. That doesn’t even mean you have to react the same way next time, just do what works for now. Enjoy the crazy moments just as much as the “awwww” moments because the crazy ones make the awwwww moments that much more special! And they make great stories for when the kids are bigger! LOL

My oldest set are 11 tomorrow, my youngest set is 11 weeks. It is just as hard at any age, just different. Don’t worry about the cleaning, kids don’t remember if the house is clean. They do however remember the cuddles, the fun, and the time spent together.

For parents of twin boys: Get good home insurance. Baby proof the entire house from now until they are 18! Even the stuff in your closets that you think they will never be able to reach! Good luck!!

Listen to moms and dads of twins when they tell you what works! Ignore the people that judge what you decide to do with your twins! I was so glad that other twin moms were so helpful with time and advice! Oh and SCHEDULE is so important!!

Back up your pictures on your phone….one of my twins deleted all of my pics since December 2013.

Mine will be 10 in 2 months. 4th grade. Do what you feel is right. Your situation is different than others. Listen to your heart and love them at every stage. There are good times and hard times, hang in there.

6 year old ID boys. Assign colors! Did it from day 1, A is always blue, B is green or red. Great for keeping things separate such as tooth brushes, towels, cups, shoes, underwear, etc.

Don’t sweat the small stuff…it goes too quick!

Make time for yourself.

Enjoy those moments…they are gone in a blink of an eye. Everyone says it but it is SO TRUE!

The first thing I usually say is “You know that thing that’s completely wearing you out or stressing you out about your twin babies/toddlers? Ya, that thing you’re thinking of right now….. well in a week, month or year from now, you won’t even remember what that thing is anymore because the next step will have you just as preoccupied. Stay in the moment, enjoy it as best you can, and don’t be so hard on yourself when it feels like you’ve taken a step back if you’re trying your hardest. Parents will make bad choices, parents will have days where they completely throw in the towel, parents will compare, parents will judge, parents will usually think they are coming up short, but at the end of the day if your kids are fed, clothed, have shelter, laughed some (even if they’re screaming and fighting right now) and you are willingly engaged in this quest we call parenting, then you are a successful parent. Period.”

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