Last updated on September 21st, 2023 at 02:22 pm
It was no surprise to me when I didn’t get pregnant after our first year trying, fertility challenges are real. We knew this day would come. I was not exactly a healthy child growing up, and the first time a doctor told me I wouldn’t be able to conceive on my own, I was 13. I thought he was an idiot.
Why is that last statement important? If you believe what they say, you will never have the strength to endure fertility treatments. So I didn’t believe them, they didn’t discourage me, and here I am, almost a mother of four.
Our journey with fertility challenges and treatments was a long one. It started in the fall of 2002 with “timed” sex using an ovulation kit and 6 months of clomid. This didn’t work because we later discovered the real issue was that I wasn’t ovulating at all.
The second time we tried was in the summer of 2006, age 32, and finally in December of 2008 I delivered a set of healthy twin girls.
The third time we tried was this past spring and again I am due in December with another set of twin girls.
The difference five years makes in the fertility world is unbelievable.
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When I was young and ignorant I didn’t know what to expect, so it wasn’t as frightening as it is now. Now I know the costs, risks, and possibilities that it won’t happen.
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Unfortunately, I didn’t have anyone to talk to or who understood what I was going through — that was super rough. I now have a great circle of support who knows so much and we help each other tremendously.
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Ironically, we had plenty of money and not a single debt the first time around, and this time we were flat broke. And to increase the irony, our insurance covered it the first time around and this time it didn’t.
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I had the freedom to make the trips to the doctors weekly (some weeks 7 days); this time, there was difficulty in finding sitters last-minute.
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I can’t believe how exhausting pregnancy could be but being five years older with twins already really wears on the body.
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Last time we had what it took to go the distance until it worked; this time we only had ONE shot.
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The emotions were far worse this time. I’m not sure if was my age, only having one shot, or just knowing the risks, but I was much more emotional.
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Going through fertility treatments once, successfully, the doctors knew me, knew my body and knew what would work and what wouldn’t so it didn’t take nearly as long to get pregnant.
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But with all that, the best part is we didn’t know how our life would change with a baby (babies) but this time we knew and that makes all of this worth it!
As painful as fertility challenges can be, it will challenge not only you but your relationships with all those close to you — it tests them and makes them stronger. It builds up your strength and character. It builds a bond most women won’t understand. All of this makes you a mother who cannot fail.
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