7 Assumptions About Twins

Last updated on September 28th, 2021 at 01:58 pm

Growing up I always thought twins were fascinating. Now as a mother to twins I realize that most people find them fascinating and have a lot of assumptions about twins. I’ve had people ask me all kinds of questions or give their opinions on twin births to raising twins. While every situation is different, I’ve heard a few over the years I know to be assumptions about twins.

1. You have boy/girl twins? Are they identical?

The first time I was asked this question was at my twins’ first doctor appointment. I sat there between my two newborn babies listening to two nurses argue this point out. The whole first year I was asked this question at least half a dozen times. First of all, aside from the fact that my twins look nothing alike there is that slight issue of one being a boy and the other a girl. So to set the record straight, boy/girl twins can never be identical, and if you ever get asked that try not to laugh too hard at them.

2. All twins are delivered via C-section

While C-sections are done for many reasons it wasn’t something that occurred in our case. My doctor knew going in that I didn’t want a C-section unless it was the last option. Even with the knowledge that I could deliver one and then wait hours to have the other one I pushed on with my plan. Luckily my babies wanted out as fast as I did and they came into this world within five minutes of each other.

3. All, or most twins, are the result of In-Vitro Fertilization

I have only been asked this a couple times because most people find it too personal to ask. While I think that it doesn’t matter, I’ve learned people definitely have their opinions on this one. I do know that IVF increases the chances of twins, but a lot of other things factor in as well. I can honestly say that our twins were a shock to us, as we were only expecting one when we went into our first ultrasound. People always ask if twins run in our family to which I say “well they do now!” I did read somewhere one time that bigger, taller women have twins, so we will go with that.

4. All twins are instantly best friends

I’m laughing as I type this because I can tell you right now my twins are definitely not that. From day one, they didn’t even like sharing a crib and almost five years later the fights are daily occurrences. They fight like any siblings except maybe worse because they share a lot of the same toys. Twins do share a bond, I just think mine are too young to realize that yet.

5. They do worse when separated

There are times when I’ll take one of them out and leave the other home with daddy or vice versa. My husband has said that people told him that they assume that they miss each other or act worse apart. This is actually when they are their best. A lot of the acting up they do really has to do with feeding into each other, they bring out theworst in each other sometimes. My husband appreciates the separation, he has only ever known twins. He will never know how much easier one child can be. And while our twins will never know what it’s like to not have the other, we have found that separation is good for all.

6. Everything is the same

Since they are twins they like and do everything the same, right? I can’t speak for those who have identical twins, or those with same sex ones, I just know ours couldn’t be more different. While twins are born at the same time they are two people with individual personalities. It’s those differences that help define them and bring out their best qualities. But, it makes it hard to agree on what to watch on TV or what activity to do. It’s those times where we learn the term compromise. (We’re working on it).

7. One twin is good and the other is evil

People watch too many movies, but in any case, our twins can each flip a switch and go from being good to bad just like that. I do appreciate the fact that when one is being bad I can usually count on the other one being good. I always had the assumption that boys are harder while younger, and girls get harder as they age. As most of our trouble does come from our son at this stage, I’m hoping he grows out of it before she decides to turn on us. Having a 12 year old daughter as well, I am prepared for what is to come.

While there are several things that aren’t true of twins there are some things I can tell you that are. Before our twins could talk they had a bond between one another. While we didn’t understand them they understood each other. They had a twin talk, and it was quite fascinating. Twins do share an unmistakable bond, and while it may not seem like it now, I know they will be close later on in life. And last, raising twins is hard. If I had a nickel for every time someone told me “I don’t know how you do it with twins” I could hire that housekeeper or nanny I have always wanted. It is double trouble; double the work, double the stress, double the coffee and wine. But at the end of the day, I can always count on double the kisses, double the hugs and two very sweet “I love you, Mommy”. It doesn’t get much better than that.

Marlana Zank is a stay-at-home mom to three kids, including an eleven year old daughter and four year old boy/girl twins. Let’s not forgot her amazing husband and Luna, the newest four legged member to the family. Her hobbies include reading, Zumba at the local Y, and a crazy obsession to “Gilmore Girls”, “Parenthood”, and “Supernatural”. Realistic hobbies include laundry, house cleaning, cooking for picky kids, and knowledge of all Disney and Nickelodeon.