Last updated on September 28th, 2021 at 01:58 pm
The day our twins were born, I remember feeling overwhelmed with exhaustion and the knowledge that we had before us an epic marathon of sleepless nights. I pictured waking up the morning of their first birthday and declaring “we made it!,” feeling suddenly well rested and human once again. HA! Our toddler girls now sleep through the night (most nights) and even nap at the same time, so life is worlds different than the newborn stage. However, “well-rested” is still not a phrase I would toss around. Toddler tantrums, food in their hair, and wrestling matches over favorite books and toys have brought about a new variety of exhaustion. Every day is filled with joy and wonder, applesauce faces and milky chins, frustration, love and laughter. It takes a perspective of humor to get through the tough days. The following is a list of 16 actual (and absurd) thoughts from my first 16 months with twins:
1. After accidentally brushing one twin toddler’s teeth with the other twin’s toothbrush, I though to myself “Should I brush the second twin’s teeth with the wrong toothbrush as well, just to even things out?”
2. While changing twin newborn diapers in the middle of the night, exhausted and crying I thought “How could this entire case of diapers be defective, with tabs that do not stick?” (Realizing in the morning that I was trying to put them on inside-out in my sleep deprived stupor.)
3. While squatting, changing a diaper on the floor with a full bladder, and now useless pelvic floor and a sneeze attack occurred with and predictable results I thought “Did I just wet myself so much that I need to change my pants immediately, or is the leakage a small enough amount that I can get the babies down for their nap first?”
4. While seeing that the twins steal and trade their water sippy cups all day, only drinking a collective ounce of filtered water, I think to myself “Is it really necessary to provide a cup for each twin, or should we just be honest about this reality and share one cup?”
5. After realizing I forgot to wear nursing pads to church and my shirt has just become rather wet I though to myself “A receiving blanket can be worn as a scarfy shawl-like accessory, right?”
6. “Coffee can replace sleep. No, really, it can… just for today.”
7. When worried I’ve damaged a twin’s shoulder socket pulling her arm while chasing her twin I thought “Are kid leashes really such a bad thing?”
8. When there is a questionable smell coming from the nursery I think “Can I tiptoe through the nursery in the dark without tripping over that basket of baby laundry that needs to be put away, bend soundlessly over the rail of each crib and get close enough to give each diaper a sniff… without waking the non-soiled twin?”
9. During a messy meal I think “Is it a bad thing to allow the dog to lick the pasta sauce off the twins’ legs before I take them out of their high chairs?”
10. “My. Biceps. Are. Awesome. My abs… not so much.”
11. “Ooops. I nursed one baby twice in a row and the other not at all… or wait… did I? Crap.”
12. “Cheerios are made of magic. Bananas are chewable unicorn tears. Five minutes of silence… ahhh”
13. “Small people can make very loud sounds at very inopportune times. Yet, having two very small, very loud people is a great exit strategy for awkward phone calls.”
14 . Two suddenly runny noses, out in public and I forgot to pack tissues. I think “Sooo, do I look like a worse parent if I wipe their noses on their shirts or my sleeves? Do I alternate sleeves as to keep their snot separate?”
15 . “Should I first pick up the twin who screams the loudest? Or should I reward the one with the reasonable decibel level?”
16. When my husband and I sat one night on the bathroom floor, tubside, eating our dinners while our big kids ate in the kitchen and our twins played in the tub I thought “This is hygienically questionable and is not how I pictured married life or parenting. But I wouldn’t change it for the world.”
There is nothing like twin parenting. Watching two little people grow up together, forming their individual personalities, is a great privilege. For every double mess, there are double hugs and for every double tantrum there are double milestones. We are not perfectionists in our house, yet we have had to let go of certain things and go with the flow even more so than with our older kids. Our twins have taught us to meet obstacles with creativity and humor. They have taught us to prioritize and ask for help even while working through fatigue. At the end of each day, we feel a sense of accomplishment simply having made it through the day and each evening we have a wealth of stories from the day to laugh over. Being okay with the absurd and being able to laugh about it has been the key to sanity during the first 16 months with twins.
Anne Schmidt is a stay at home mother of five, including three school age kids and fraternal twin girls born in May of 2016. A self-proclaimed book nerd and former school librarian, Anne currently spends her time mixing up her kids’ names, tripping over the dog, and trying to convince the laundry to wash itself.
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