Last updated on April 26th, 2024 at 09:41 pm
I am asked frequently (if not daily) how I maintain my sanity. Of course I am usually asked this because I have two year old boy/girl twins and I also have teenagers. That alone is enough to drive any mama bonkers. But I also have MANY other projects in my life that take up substantial time.
Let me rewind. I have been a college student since 2009. I want to teach high school history or English and so I have been taking one class after another, one at a time. The classes are five weeks each and so it’s not as fast paced as most but it made it easier for me to maintain a home with my children and husband. It has been hard I…I certainly can’t lie and tell you it’s been easy. There have been several life events that has made it extremely difficult.
One of those events were our twins being born prematurely. They arrived at 31 weeks and spent nearly two months in the NICU. I was right in the middle of a class and it was nearly impossible to finish the class with the constant driving back and forth. The constant worry and questioning how my babies were doing from one day to the next. I worried about my older children as they weren’t allowed in to see the babies (during flu season it’s strictly parents).
Two years have passed and I’ve continued on my path but have added more projects to my plate. I am a part time travel agent, a freelance writer, I am the Pinterest Manager for Twiniversity, I am a mama of twins and teens, and…I am a college student.
All of these jobs do not make me special. They don’t make me Superwoman. My friends all think I am crazy. I just never consider quitting and I learned rather quickly that I was going to have set rules for myself so that I did not get dragged under all the weight of it.
Tips on balancing being a mom and a student:
1. A Lot of “You Time”!
The most important thing I have figured out is that I needed to have at LEAST an hour every other day to get my school work done. Keep in mind that my classes are one at a time so you may need to do a least an hour everyday to keep the pace.
2. Let Others Help
I know all twin mamas hear this a lot…but it’s vitally important when maintaining school and home. I often find myself in a fog (we’ve all been there) and so I will ask my mom or my cousin to proofread for me. My teenage daughter will keep the babies for me so that I can lock the world away if I have a final paper coming up. Of course not everyone has that option so my advice is to either get up a little earlier each day or stay up just a little bit later when it gets close to crunch time.
3. Talk With Your Other Half!
If you are married it’s easy to get wrapped up in your school work. Add to that being a mama to twins (or more) and it can be seldom that you get a second to just talk with the other half. Make time, if only a few minutes, to ask about THEIR day but also share your your day, class assignments, what the twins did new today, grumble about the neighbor down the road but TALK to each other.
4. Take Deep Breaths!
Sometimes it can be a little overwhelming when you are up to your neck in papers, diapers and dishes. Don’t let this deter you from your end game. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel. Breath through it, take a walk with your beautiful children, drink a cup of coffee, or call a friend to have normal conversation and then get back to it.
5. Spend Time With Your Family
As a mother I constantly find myself second guessing if I am doing enough in all areas that I am needed. Am I an attentive enough mother when my children need me? Do I spend too much time with my head buried in a computer (trust me between writing articles, pinning, and school I am on a computer a LOT)? Do I make enough time to make my husband feel needed and important? Should I be calling my mom and dad more? The questions are a continuous circle in my head and, if I let it, can be a HUGE distraction to my school work. So I MAKE the time to be with them. A five minute conversation on the phone with mom or dad may not seem like much but it’s enough, trust me. A simple excursion with your kids outside shows them that they are important to you. They see that you are taking the time to be with them. Cuddle on the couch for a little bit with your honey and watch a sitcom or even the late night news to let them know you are still with them.
6. Get Enough Sleep
Sounds crazy right? If you have newer twins this may not be doable just yet but it will even out and your twins WILL sleep one day. Try to get as much sleep as you can so your foggy brain can clear and you can put your best effort into your assignments and discussions.
7. It’s Okay to Put School on Hold
When our twins were born so early I had to take a break to get back on track. My college was VERY obliging and most other schools will be too. Don’t feel like you are quitting because you need to regroup. Make a reasonable plan for how you will get back in school when you are ready.
8. Shop Cheap
Those unbelievably expensive books the college requires you to have can be a HUGE hit to your budget. With twins (or more) it can seem out of reach. But the school will list the IBN (book identification number) and you can usually find it much cheaper online. I prefer Amazon because most of the books allow rental (which is MUCH cheaper). Don’t pay $200 for a book when you can rent it for $30!
9. Build a Great Relationship With Your Academic Advisor
They are going to be your saving grace. They will listen to your story and know how best to help you sort out what you need to do. If your advisor seems stiff or unfriendly keep trying to build that friendship. Eventually they will start to really listen to you. If all else fails talk about your adorable twins…who can resist adorable twins?!
10. Don’t Have a Panic Attack Over One Bad Grade
If you are expecting to go two to four years in college with a 4.0 GPA and TWINS…I wish you luck but it’s probably not going to happen. When life punches you in the eye with a flu bug, a broken appendage, or stitches it’s going to be hard keeping up with everything that comes with those ailments and school. That’s okay. Keep trying and if you get a hard knock push through it. It’s not the end of the world if you don’t make the Dean’s List every year. The important thing is that you ARE going to get through it and at the end…you’ll have your degree!
We twin moms can wear a lot of hats and sometimes those hats can get heavy. But we are also resilient. Your dreams are never too far out of reach if you only keep at them. Never give up…never surrender!
Deanna Burkett (Twiniversity Pinterest and Forums Manager) is multi-tasking mama of two year old boy/girl twins and teens and a wife of 19 years to a very patient husband. On any given day you can find her pinning her heart away at Twiniversity’s Pinterest page, saying howdy to a new member of Twiniversity’s Message Board, working on school work while she earns her double degree of History and English at Ashford University, catering to her teenagers every beck and call or chasing one or two naked babies around the house! Look for her on Facebook, & Twitter!
Need some twin parent friends? Get the support you need with a Twiniversity Membership. Benefits include a monthly twin parent club meeting on Zoom, access to a private Facebook group just for twin parents, and a video library of twin parenting lessons. Visit Twiniversity.com/membership to join today!
