Last updated on November 25th, 2023 at 02:04 pm
Doctors are our friends and help us get better. But sometimes children develop a fear of going to the doctor. This fear could stem from a bad experience, an active imagination about the unknown, the reactions of those around them, their growing concern for personal privacy, or feelings of guilt.
Educate Your Children
It is important to first understand that each age group has specific needs and concerns as well as each child being unique in how they perceive things. Assess what your child already understands and ask them if they have any questions or concerns.
For young children you may need to demonstrate what will happen at the appointment as well. Michele F. said before her twins 3 year checkup “We talked about what was going to happen. I did a few of the things (blood pressure, hearing test etc…) first to make sure they understood what would happen.” Make sure when you are explaining you use positive words. Brandy says “I’ve always said that we ‘get’ to see the doctor or dentist… and they end up thinking of it like a play date.” Beware of over-emphasizing that “it won’t hurt” since this can cause your child to become alarmed.
Some parents have used books and videos to help prepare their young children for their doctor’s visit. Nancy F. says “Elmo visits the doctor video helped… tremendously. She knew what to expect and even our pediatrician was amazed at the difference between visits.” There are many other children’s videos that deal with this subject, maybe your child’s favorite cartoon may also have an episode to help teach your child what to expect. You could also have your child role play at home with a play doctor’s kit. Your child may even want to take this kit with him to his appointment.
As your children reach school age they may get apprehensive about going to the doctor because they feel guilty about their condition or aliment. Make sure that your child understands that everyone goes to the doctor and reassure him that his ailment is not his fault. Relate to his experience if you can by sharing your experience, remembering to stay positive about the doctor.
As children reach their teenage years they start developing fears about being “different” from their peers so to preserve their ‘image’ they may become reluctant to share their concerns about their body or health with their parents and doctors. Both the doctor and parents need to reassure them of their privacy when it comes to their health needs. Your child may also fear looking “stupid” thus refraining from asking questions. It may be helpful to provide information voluntarily to such ones. It may be helpful for these shy teenagers to write down their concerns ahead of time to give to the doctor.
Appointment Day
Taking your whole crew to the doctor’s office may be stressful to you as a parent; but try not to show your stress since children can sense this and then think they have something to be stressed about. To cut down on stress consider making appointments for only one child at a time and using this opportunity to spend one on one time with your child. This would be especially beneficial as children get older and need more privacy about personal things.
Let your child bring his favorite book, toy or blankie and play games with them to pass the time faster while you wait. It may be helpful to call ahead and ask if the doctor is running on time. If they are behind you may consider running an errand or getting a snack so you don’t have to sit and wait a long time and risk your children getting restless, hungry and cranky. For young children you may even ask if there is an available exam room for you to wait in so that they can get used to their surroundings before the doctor’s exam and also this will help to avoid picking up germs from the waiting room.
Exam Time
Try to help your child build a good relationship with your doctor before they become ill. Hopefully your child’s doctor has good bedside manner and will greet your child in a positive way. It is important for children of all ages to feel in control of their situation to maintain a calm state; the doctor can help by allowing them to touch and inspect the instruments that will be used and letting your child know what to expect next. Natalie D. recommends for young children to “Bring a stuffed animal from home that is also getting an exam. Ask your doctor to examine teddy/dino/dolly before your child. This will show your child what is going to happen and they get to be the ‘parent’ and reassure their stuffed animal.”
If your child needs to get a shot you can ask your doctor to use numbing cream at the injection site. At the office I take my children, if my toddlers need more than one shot in a visit they will get two nurses to give both the shots at the same time so it only hurts once and we don’t have to pin them down for round two; this has worked pretty well for my kiddos. Some offices even have shots be given at a different location than in the exam rooms so that they don’t associate them with the doctor. Make sure to talk to your child and make eye contact with them during unpleasant procedures to help take their mind off of it.
After the Visit
Praise your child for their cooperation and give your child a reward to look forward to after the visit; it could be a trip to the park, a play date, or their favorite treat! You may want to have another conversation to help them process the visit and make sure they don’t have any concerns they are suppressing about the visit that might lead to a more unpleasant visit the next time.
Hopefully these tips will help your next doctor’s visit go well. Do you have any tips that help make your children’s Doctor visits a pleasant experience?
